Managing Distress
What to do if conversations go off track
Sometimes students will react in unexpected ways when dealing with specific conversations. You can use some of the strategies from the unplanned “hot” moments and design an exit strategy in place, but if things are past this point or if individual students seem to be distressed it is valuable to be able to notice their distress and have a plan to assist them.
Exit strategies
It is important to consider to have exit strategies for difficult conversations so that both you and your students know it is okay to pause a conversation and gather your thoughts. An exit strategy may be a physical exit so students know they can leave if needed, or a policy where it is acceptable for students.
Instructor example
Flip the card to see an example of what you can say as an instructor to allow the class to exit a discussion.
This is an important conversation. I’m feeling that it might be helpful to pause, take a deep breath, clarify what’s important to each of us, before continuing. Let’s return in 10 minutes/next class after writing down/reflecting on our thoughts.
Supporting students to exit
Flip the card to see an example of what you can say as an instructor to support students in exiting a discussion.
I encourage you to be intentional with self-care during difficult conversations. If you need to remove yourself from the room, please do so. In order to ensure your safety and wellbeing, let me know you are ok by giving a thumbs up or sending a message.
Student examples
Flip the card to see examples of what students can say to exit a discussion they are feeling has become too difficult.
I’m not feeling comfortable in this conversation, and am going to step away.
This topic is difficult for me, I’m going to take a short break. I will be back shortly/next class.
How to recognize stress/distress in yourself and someone else.
The first aspect is being able to address when someone is becoming distressed in the discussion. There are a number of signs which can help you:
- You can see or feel a big reaction to a seemingly small thing (symptoms are red face, clenched jaw, outburst of anger or frustration, or tears)
- Self soothing because of overstimulation (symptoms are rubbing arms, chest or legs, fidgeting, covering mouth or eyes).
- Disengagement (symptoms are staring into space, playing on phone or laptop)
- Emotional shut down (indications are “I don’t want to talk about this”, “whatever”)
- Avoiding contact and expressing a desire to be alone (exit the classroom, and that’s ok)
See the CARE team’s guide on noticing distress.
What to do if a student is in distress
Our Royal Roads Care Team recommend using the A.L.E.R.T. approach to supporting students in distress.
- Acknowledge by being specific and direct about the observation/behaviour that gives you cause for concern while recognizing the tactical difference between a student actively looking for help versus you identifying a need.
- Listen to the student. Give the student your patient, undivided attention. This may require finding time and space for private conversation.
- Engage the student. Allow the student to share thoughts and feelings in a calm and compassionate environment. Avoid judgement or assumptions.
- Refer the student to additional services. Let the student know that you are going to help connect them to appropriate support. Take time to get the student’s full name and contact information. If the student is in distress and requires immediate referral, contact the CARE Team (contact Security Services on evenings and weekends to reach on-call support). Otherwise, connect the student to the appropriate office, preferably by making a direct connection through face-to-face, phone or email introduction.
- Talk to Student Services staff members if you are concerned about a student. Share your observations, ask questions, and help create a plan for student success.
Where can a member of faculty/instructor access support following a difficult conversation that may have not gone as intended?
Sometimes, you will also feel distressed or stressed by a conversation and the direction it went. It is important to also seek the appropriate help. Reach out to your program head or faculty lead to get guidance and support.
If this is an issue that may require relooking at the course or designing something different, you can contact CTET for support. However, if you need some emotional support for the events that occurred reach out to Employee & family assistance program | Royal Roads University – Our People.